When you meet someone for the first time you don’t what to expect. You might think you got someone all figured out before they say “Hello.” You can think you know who they are by the way they dress and speak.

Until you have a conversation you won’t really know who you’re dealing with. The best way to feel someone out is by spending time with them. Spending time with someone who might be an ally, friend, or unwanted company.

I guess you could reject everybody you come across but then you might miss out on some pretty cool people. Feeling people out and giving them time to show you who they are, and can earn you seriously cool friends.

Taking time out to get to know someone is kinda like conducting an interview. There are some questions you might want to ask. Where they are from? How old they are? What they do for work? These are all common questions and should be perfectly fine.

It’s good to see if the person who crossed your path has something in common with you. Asking some socially acceptable questions will give you an idea on who you’re are dealing with.

Look out for red flags. When someone makes a comment and says something that is a little off-putting you should consider it a red flag. When someone is talking about their past listen to what they have to say.

They things they say let’s you know who and what they are all about. You have to listen closely to what someone is telling you about themselves. Some people have ill intentions that they won’t be able to keep hidden. If they start giving off too many red flags you might want to start shying away from that individual.

If they are a creep they won’t be able to hide for long. Some people are really good at not giving off any serious red flags that they are hiding. Truly knowing anybody can take a lifetime.

Don’t give too much of yourself. The person you’re feeling out is going to have some secrets, so should you. You’re going to have to keep something about yourself on the low. You don’t want to reveal the fact that you’re a serial killer until the final moments. If you go right ahead and say “Hi, my name is Steve and I enjoy killing people on the weekend” they might not want to be your friend.

Don’t tell someone you just met all your little dark tales of debauchery. Having a conversation is an exchange. It really is a give and take, you don’t want to give them everything because they might leave you with nothing.

I wanted to give you an idea of how to feel someone out. Not, everybody is bad, there are some good people out there. You just have to be willing to engage in a conversation. Talking is the best way to get to know somebody. Dialog is the only way to achieve some sense of common ground between you and the rest of the world.

Face your fears and grow peacefully.